When someone dies, for most it is a traumatic experience, one filled with a roller coaster of emotions. It is hard to think straight and make rational decisions when one is thrown into the grips of grief. Some deaths come completely out of the blue and some are expected and families to a certain extent are prepared for it. For those faced with the unexpected death of a loved one especially if it has been violent or unnatural the burden of grief can be overwhelming. Even for those who re expecting the end to come can still be thrown off guard. with that in mind I have put together what I hope is a comprehensive guide on how to deal with these situations and what to do next.
It is important to know first of all that there are people around you not just funeral directors, who can help you and guide you through this whole process. You are not alone and neither should you be.
When death occurs at home and it is expected you will first have to contact the family doctor. The GP will arrive to verify the death of the person who has died. He or she will carry out a few checks to confirm that life is extinct. Sometimes the doctor may not be able to attend, instead a nurse or another health care professional with specific training in this area may be sent to complete this task. Once that has happened the doctor will be able to issue the Medical Certificate Cause of Death. This is the actual death certificate which is used to register the death. Sometimes the GP may write this out at the house and leave it for the family but this is very rare. Most of the time this will be completed at the doctor's surgery. The doctor will then email the document to the new Medical Examiner. The Medical Examiner will then read what the doctor has written and contact them to discuss the details. If the Medical Examiner is satisfied with what the doctor's cause of death was then they will contact the family of the deceased to discuss all of the details with them. Once they are satisfied that the death was natural and expected then they will allow the family to register the death.
Once the doctor or medical professional has been and verified the death, you can now call your funeral director of choice. Some people call the funeral director before the doctor has been. There is little point in doing this as the deceased cannot be moved from the place of death until a doctor has been to complete the verification process. There is no immediate rush for you to contact a funeral home. You can spend as much or as little time as you wish with your loved one before making this call. When you do make that call you will be asked for three bits of information. The name of the deceased, where they have died and what their date of birth is? Some funeral homes may ask some other questions such as, who the deceaseds GP was, is the family thinking of burial or cremation and who the next of kin is? It may be handy to have this information written down somewhere so you can relay that to the person who you speak to from the funeral home. Most funeral directors aim to get to you within an hour of you making the first call. You will be told if they are going to be any longer.
When the funeral director arrives he or she will be accompanied by another member of staff to assist them in taking your loved one into their care. Sometimes a funeral director may not be in attendance but another member from the funeral home staff instead. They will talk with the next of kin or whoever is the first point of contact as to what is to happen next. They usually will not go into specifics unless you would like them to. Taking a deceased loved one into our care is a physical task and certain equipment is used to aid that process. It can be distressing for a family to see this so you may be asked to go into another part of the house while the removal takes place. It is important to also note that you do not have to follow this instruction. I myself have attended death calls where family members have remained in the room while my colleagues and I complete the task in hand. I have even had some family members assist in the process. The is totally fine and quite a nice thing to do of some people. But for the most part, families will take the advice of the funeral director and leave the room and allow them to carry on with their task. Once your loved one is placed into the funeral directors removal vehicle the funeral director or nominated person will then speak to the family about what will happen next. The other member of the funeral home staff will remain with your loved one at all times.
When the funeral home staff leave, you will have time to process what has happened and usually a funeral director or funeral arranger will contact the family either the same day or the next working day depending on when the death has occurred to discuss the funeral arrangements in more detail. You will have five working days to register the death with the local registrar. You will need to collect the death certificate from the doctor and make an appointment at your local registry office or at the registry office closest to where the person has died. The registrar will explain what information they need before you visit them. At that appointment you will be given the Certified Copy on an Entry. This is commonly called the death certificate as the cause of death will be on there along with other information concerning the deceased. This document can be used to close down bank or building society accounts and to present to insurance companies if required. There is a charge for this document so it is always best to check how many copies you need. You will also be given The Registrars Certificate for Burial or Cremation. This is called The Green Form as it is green in colour. This is what the funeral director needs on order for a funeral to take place.
The next step is to make the funeral arrangements them selves. This can be done at a funeral home or in the comfort of your own home or at a place of your choosing. When you sit down with s funeral director you will be asked about what type of service you would like for your loved one, how many cars you would like if any at all, if you would like to make use of their chapel of rest, what flowers you would like and what coffin you would like your loved one to rest in? If you have chosen a cremation service, then they will go through the legal paperwork that has to be submitted to the Crematorium before the service takes place. If you have chosen a burial service then similar documents will have to be completed concerning the cemetery of your choice. If a burial is to take place then you have to get hold of a copy of the grave deeds if it is a re-opening of an existing grave. If it is a new grave then the funeral director will guide you through the grave deed forms. The funeral director will also appoint a celebrant or religious minister to take the service. He or she will contact you to discuss the service details such as readings, hymns, songs and other tributes. The officiant will also help you put together an order of service to help guide mourners through the service. Most funeral homes will offer a print service so if you wanted the order of service printed then they can arrange the for you.
As you can see there is a lot to take in and consider. I always advise people before coming to see me or any funeral director, to make a list of things they may want to ask. That way nothing gets missed. And even if it does funeral directors are only a phone call away. Please do not hesitate to pick up a phone and call them. They are there to help and to try and make a difficult time that much easier to deal with. The options are endless when it comes to funerals nowadays. Planning such an event can take its tole. I hope that this guide goes in some way to helping those who are navigating these waters for the first time.
No comments:
Post a Comment